My Walking Papers

So it's official. In 60 days, I will no longer be a Harvard employee. Today I received my walking papers. My position is set to terminate. This is no surprise to me: I was lured back to work after the babies were a few months old with the promise of terminating my position (makes it easier for them than having to hire someone to complete the Archive project I work on), and the reward of 10 weeks severance pay. What's more, if I finish the project in less than 60 days, which looks possible, I will still be paid through the end of the notice, plus severence after that. It's a good deal. A great deal. and it's a good thing. Here I am in my office after 5pm, getting some hours filled while Brian puts the babies to bed and we don't need to wrangle a patch job of childcare, in order to do this silly, pointless job that I don't care a flying flip about. And the severance will give me some time to pull together a better balance of work that I do care about: teaching Nia, teaching writing (hell...maybe even DOING some writing). It's a good thing. But after ten years at Harvard, I realized today just how much I've come to define myself by my work here. Getting my walking papers just doesn't feel nearly as freeing as I thought it would.