birth control

It's not that I don't like them, or that I want to give them back. It's just that I don't care to have one or (god forbid) two more. Partially because I've already given away these shirts. And since it seems that my ovaries are inclined to dropping multiple eggs, I've opted to go back on the pill, although I'm not sure it's the best fix, but the nurse practitioner has convinced me that there's no reason not to while one of us decides to step up for the more permanent fix. I started the pill ten days ago, after my second post-natal visit from good ole Aunt Flo, who returns with a nasty vengence, as if she's got a score to settle. Thus another point in favor of the hormonal helper.

Maybe I'm more sensitive to my body now, but I'd say the hormonal side effects are far more pronounced apres twin pregnancy. Just yesterday a teenaged runaway in Harvard Sq called me "Pizza Face." Okay, that's a total lie, but if you saw me, you'd know why I'm so self-conscious. I have zits that hurt. Big ones, deep under the skin. And strange sensations in the breasts, particularly the left, that feels a lot like let down. Did my boobs feel like milk was coming in during my prior years of pill popping and I just had no way of naming the sensation before brest feeding? Add the past five days of extreme break through bleeding and...I think I need someone to remind me why I decided to take this pill again.

Thus the picture. It's not even a strong enough reminder. I need one in which they're BOTH red-faced and screaming!

old men and the sea..er, lake!

Oh screw it, I hate Hemingway anyway: masogynist bastard.
So the boys got their first taste of Lake Winnipesaukee a few weeks ago.
Could these swimsuits be any cuter? Don't they look like little old men? Thanks grammy, for all the baby shopping you do on your lunch hour.

I wish this photo better reflected Ethan's utter glee for aquatics. He shreiked with laughter from the time we entered to the time we exited the lake. Kicking his feet and making a splash never fails to shock and delight him, over and over again. The water has a calming effect on Emmet. Upon submergion he gets super chill, and far too fascination by the environment to look at mommy or daddy or Nana with the camera.

This day also marked their first introduction to Mila, daughter of Tara and grandchild of Gail, my very best Lake friends who I totally grew up with in this very spot where we swam -- at the colony beach, none of us colony members any longer. But after 20-odd years of ownership, we'll always claim squatters rights.



Here on the same beach where Tara and I and all the other kids offered up variety shows for the adults while they sucked down G & T's at 'happy hour," Mila becomes more familiar with the twins. She finds their belly buttons compelling, and will chase both Ethan & Emmet scurrying across the blanket for a chance to poke their navels.

Babies, they're so ... chubby :)

Boogie Footage

So if your missed the Barefoot Boogie with live drumming I organized thanks to the help of Sue Landers, you were in the MAJORITY. I think we had 7 dancers all night -- which was a shame, because the drummers were so unbeliveably good! The few of us who were there danced a little slice of Nia heaven that night. Here's what you missed. Now, promise me you are going to come next time?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n7duBv7T2g

More on Spirit Mandated Chocolate

Had so much fun with Spirit yesterday that we returned to Cardullo's just now, but not before emptying the change out of my wallet: $2.25 in coins (I left the pennies behind). That's what I had to play with. There were many items to choose from at the $1.99 price point. My pick jumped out at me due to the language on the wrapper:

"Dolfin -- the Art of Blending."

This Belgium company blends chocolate with other exotic flavors, resulting in "sometimes surprising but always harmonius combinations." Dolfin's website promises to deliver "a world of pleasure within reach of your tastebuds." How harmonious is Dolfin to Nia? It's all about the pleasure, baby! And "the art of blending" is so Aikido. This will likely be the inspiration for my class focus tonight. See what I mean about Spirit heloing me get sh*! done?

The variety I chose is called Hot Masala from India. It blends Milk Chocolate with Indian spices that sort of reminds me of chai, or a mild curry heat on the back of the throat, amidst a milky fullness in the front palate.

This is a really good game. I recommend you try it, and post your Spirit Mandated Chocolate findings in the comments section.

Hang out, have fun, get sh*! done -- with Spirit

This morning, I saw a very old man pushing a baby in a stroller (likely a grandchild) and wearing this hat. It was all I could do to stay in the car -- I wanted to jump out and follow him. "That guy's nuts," Brian said. "That guy's got some kahonahs!" I said. Really, he was just in touch with his spirit.

So that thing I teach - Nia - it's a body-mind-emotion-spirit program. The idea is that Nia is holistic because when we do it, we address the whole person: body, mind, emotion, spirit. Spirit can feel like a loaded word, and I never really knew what we were suppose to be doing in those week-long Nia trainings when "accessing the Spirit realm..." Praying? Begging for forgiveness? taking a nap while pretending to meditate?

Somewhere along the line, Nia HQ got really clear about the realm of Spirit having more to do with creating an open channel to one's own authenticity. Everyone has their own spice, things that make them unique. Accessing Spirit is as easy as personifying the part of you that represents your authenic self, and then asking your spirit to hang out with you for the day. Inviting that part of you to call the shots for an hour, or for your typical walk or ride to work can open your eyes to new things, and even some cool syncronicities.

Here's how I chose to hang out with spirit yesterday:
Now I have worked in Harvard Square for ELEVEN years. Believe me when I say that the charm is long gone. There is nothing to eat here that I am not totally tired of, no longer any stores I want to shop in. The bums here don't even bother with me anymore. Yesterday I decided to play a game with Spirit called "Break My Habits." At lunch time, I opened my wallet and asked Spirit to choose how much i would spend on lunch. She said "five spot." I took the five, left the wallet behind, and went out into the square to find myself a lunch item that cost as close to $5 on the dot as possible. It was a veggie burrito from Felipe's with Guacamole. While this was tasty, it was only slightly different from my regular carnitas with guac & cheese.

Later in the day I tried again. Late afternoon chocolate. Spirit took $2 from my wallet. Bravo, I thought. Better to play with since $2 is too much for a Twix bar from Tommy's Convenience store across the street, and too little for a chocolate chip walnut cookie from Finale (I am sooo set in my chocolate ways). We (me & my Spirit) went to Cardullo's to peruse the imported chocolate bars. I was drawn to the familiar packages, but most were priced $2.49 or $2.99. Then a bunch of Cadbury's. I'd never tried those but knew the name, yet at $1.99 I was uncertain about tax. FInally, a sign for $1.49. The Pernigotti Cremino bar -- milk chocolate with hazenut and almond. I bought it and really tasted it's nutty silkiness on the walk back.

Just steps from my office, a woman with a double stroller approached. I noticed the kids, about a year old and asked if they were twins. Twin-Stroller-woman confirmed. Then I asked if she is Jen, a woman I've been emailing with who lives somewhere in the immediate vicinity. She's not, she's actually not the mother but the babysitter. We parted and then I realized, here is a woman who has experience babysitting twins, in front of my office, while I'm about to go inside and post an ad on Craigslist for a childcare provider. I turned around and stopped her, asked if she worked for the family fulltime. "Actually the family is moving back to Israel and today is my last day of work."

That is what happens when Spirit gets to take the lead. You have fun, try new things, and the sh*! that needs to get done, magically gets done.